I wrote this 6-28-2008, I wish I would have shared it sooner.

So a lot has happened in the last couple of years in my life. And up until a little bit ago I never actually sat down and thought about many things from my point of view. I tried to figure out things from other perspectives. The reason I say this is that I have some issues that I need to work out, but up until a little bit ago, I never really understood the issues at hand. You could say that I was sketchy, or a little bit of a womanizer, materialistic, I indulge in carnal pleasures, ect. Those are all issues, but you can't try to solve these issues if first, you don't think they are issues in the first place. This in my case was what I personified for the better part of the last decade. I think a lot of people take pleasure in those types of things, but it’s just to cover for other issues in their lives, for other pains. Insecurities will manifest in a lot of ways, and I have come to realize, I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I just need to be who I am and let others judge. But in the end, their judgments won't mean anything if you aren't truly happy with who you are. But there are two sides to all these things, I call the one side my daemons, and the other side, I will just call me. Daemons aren't evil like most people would think. They are powerful, strong, pleasurable, but only if you are thinking of yourself. If you start to think of others in the equation, they become self-destructive, hurtful, and very confusing. If who you are is a painting, the demons in your life would be constantly throwing black paint on it, and mask the true inner beauty. And I think the Daemons of others feed on other people's daemons. It’s hard to stand up to them. Some people will call this morality, some will call it ethics, or whets right, a conscious, or whatever. But it’s not as simple as right and wrong, but now a world of perception, you must be perceived as right, which in a lot of cases means you have to analyze every action you make, and make sure it’s not just right for you as an individual, but take in account feelings and perceptions of others.

Like I said my daemons

you got mad, because you got caught.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself out there?

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as
Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly so he never did land

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way?

And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong?

Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance
Five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?

And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself?

And did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day?
And did you fall for a shooting star?
Fall for a shooting star?
And now you're lonely looking for yourself out there

Bushido

* Rectitude (義, gi?)
* Courage (勇, yuu?)
* Benevolence (仁, jin?)
* Respect (礼, rei?)
* Honesty (誠, makoto or ?, 信) shin
* Honour (誉, yo?)
* Loyalty (忠, chuu?)

Jetpuff never pressured me, just made me better. But that's because Jetpuff is a great thing to have in ones life.

I want you

To hit me as hard as you can.