I wrote this 6-28-2008, I wish I would have shared it sooner.

So a lot has happened in the last couple of years in my life. And up until a little bit ago I never actually sat down and thought about many things from my point of view. I tried to figure out things from other perspectives. The reason I say this is that I have some issues that I need to work out, but up until a little bit ago, I never really understood the issues at hand. You could say that I was sketchy, or a little bit of a womanizer, materialistic, I indulge in carnal pleasures, ect. Those are all issues, but you can't try to solve these issues if first, you don't think they are issues in the first place. This in my case was what I personified for the better part of the last decade. I think a lot of people take pleasure in those types of things, but it’s just to cover for other issues in their lives, for other pains. Insecurities will manifest in a lot of ways, and I have come to realize, I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I just need to be who I am and let others judge. But in the end, their judgments won't mean anything if you aren't truly happy with who you are. But there are two sides to all these things, I call the one side my daemons, and the other side, I will just call me. Daemons aren't evil like most people would think. They are powerful, strong, pleasurable, but only if you are thinking of yourself. If you start to think of others in the equation, they become self-destructive, hurtful, and very confusing. If who you are is a painting, the demons in your life would be constantly throwing black paint on it, and mask the true inner beauty. And I think the Daemons of others feed on other people's daemons. It’s hard to stand up to them. Some people will call this morality, some will call it ethics, or whets right, a conscious, or whatever. But it’s not as simple as right and wrong, but now a world of perception, you must be perceived as right, which in a lot of cases means you have to analyze every action you make, and make sure it’s not just right for you as an individual, but take in account feelings and perceptions of others.

Like I said my daemons